Lirelyn

Dear Yuletide writer, thank you so much for writing for me! I hope you find something below that you're excited about. All my requests this year are for shows where I just really want to spend more time with the characters and their relationships, so anything you give me will make me happy.

I'm also happy to read unconventional formats... I generally don't enjoy 2nd person, but 1st person is fine, as is poetry, epistolary/documentary type fic, anything else creative you want to do. I'm open to most kinds of smut content... if it's not in my DNWs, go wild! Non-requested characters from canon are also very welcome to be as big a part of the story as you want.

Treats are very welcome!

General likes
Canon setting, missing scenes, post-canon, canon divergence
Angst
Character study
Polyamory/open relationships
Hurt/comfort, whump
Get-together (including canon divergence get-together for canon romances)
Forced proximity, forced intimacy
Cuddling, sleeping together
Nonverbal expressions of love
Unspoken understandings, characters being mentally in sync
Difficult conflicts where neither person is fully right or wrong

Smut likes
Complicated feelings about the person you’re fucking
Porn as character study/relationship study
Crying during sex (for emotional reasons or physical or both)
Chest/breast/nipple play
Non-penetrative sex (penetrative is also great! but I have a soft spot for smut that focuses on other acts)
Biting
Overstimulation
Under-negotiated kink (whether it goes well or badly)
When in character: power and dominance dynamics (mental or physical), restraints, obedience
Consent play, dubcon, situations where someone is willingly submitting to sex but not because they want it (i.e. to protect someone, for money or something they need, to avoid some worse outcome)


DNWs
pregnancy, breeding kinks
breaking up of canon relationships
possessiveness as an indicator of True Love (feelings of jealousy, or possessiveness in a kink context, are okay, but not "if you truly love someone you will want them to belong to you only")
Setting change AUs (fantasy/supernatural, crossovers, omegaverse, soulmark/soulmate, gender swap, etc)
extreme gore, eye trauma, mutilation (canon-typical violence/injury is fine, will specify in prompts if it seems relevant)
kinks involving body fluids (including menstruation and other bloodplay, watersports, scat, spitting/saliva play, cum inflation) - I'm fine with typical presence of sexual fluids, just not as the focus


Century of Love: San, Vee, Vadfah, Juu

I loved this show so much! I love the way it questions what a true epic love really means, when self-sacrifice is actually selfish, and the questions of life and death and letting go. I was really caught up in San learning to love in the present, learning to share weakness and pain with the people he loves, and of course learning to embrace his own feelings without shame. I adore Vee, his cheerfulness that hides so much vulnerability, his stubborn determination to survive and thrive on his own terms. I'd be happy with almost anything you want to write for this show, but below are some thoughts.

San whump and hurt/comfort: The "wounds re-open every midnight" situation was very good for my whump-loving soul. I was actually a little disappointed that Vee's presence eases the pain because I love a good "holding my beloved through their agonies" setup. Anything you want to write about San dealing with the midnight agonies, whether pre-canon or some scene during canon (and feel free to stretch or diverge from the show's canon sequence if you want.)

SanVee sex scenes: I'd love to read more about either the first time or the one they thought was their last time before San's death. And any post-canon scenes would be most welcome too!

San, Vee, and Third: I really wanted to nominate Third as well, and I'd be delighted for a story that explores his post-canon relationship with San, Vee, or both. I love how devotedly he loves Vee and respects his choices, and I love how ready he is to call San to task when he lets Vee down. If you want to write some kind of poly relationship I'm all for it, or if you just want to explore the way he fits into their lives in an ongoing friendship that's also great.

Vadfah (this is the spelling I'm used to from the version I watched, but I don't mind which one you use to write - and same with Juu below): I'm so interested in her! Where did she come from? Does she really have any memories from the past life or was it all a lie? I'd love to read anything you want to write about her backstory or where she goes from here. I like that the show left the mystery of "who is the real Vad" unresolved, but if you want to write a story that answers it one way or the other, I'm fine with that. I'm especially intrigued by the idea that somehow Vee and Vadfah are both connected to the original Vad, and maybe some exploration of their relationship as they come to realize that... but any direction you want to take it is really fine, as long as the canon resolution of "San chose Vee and that's what matters" stays in place.

Vadfah and Juu girls' night out - or any shenanigans you want to imagine them getting up to. They're both such fun characters, so practical and clear on what they want, and I think they could get along great once the past is forgiven. I would just love to see them going out and getting into trouble together. I'd be happy for this to be shippy or friendship, I just love them both.



The Rebound: Atom

I wanted this show to be poly so badly, and it really felt like the show wanted it too! They built up so much tension, not just between Atom and Zen but Atom and Ryu too! That dynamic where they're both doing romantic things for each other to keep it away from Zen... loved it. And then the three of them playing as a 3x3 team, and the more serious conversations Atom and Ryu had afterward. So I'd be very excited to read an OT3 story for them.

I also just love Atom - that scene where he jerks off looking at photos of Zen and then cries was gorgeous to me. I'd love a gift that just really leans into the angst and pining, especially since Zen does keep him close as a friend. Or if you have an idea for a different ship for him, I'd enjoy seeing him get a happy ending with someone else. Find a way for him and Q to get together and ease both of their broken hearts? Yes please!


Knock Knock Boys: Thanwa, Peak, Latte, Almond

I'm leaving this one wide open, I just loved these four boys and their friendship so much! Anything you want to write, focusing on any of the characters or ships, would make me very happy. Some possibilities:
- Either couple working out some early relationship issues
- Character study/focus on any one of the guys
- Cross-couple friendship focus... I love how each of the pairs has a distinct relationship and are important to each other beyond the romantic pairings
- A drinking game leads to cross-couple flirting/kissing/more... how do they all deal with that? If you go with this one I'd prefer not to have possessiveness or hardline monogamy reinforced... some jealousy or emotional struggle is fine but I'll be happiest if they land somewhere in the range of full-on poly to "sometimes friends kiss each other and that's okay"
- Either couple - or all four! - try out a new sex toy or technique to help Lukpeach's class
- Celebrating some big milestone together


Jack and Joker: Joke, Jack, Aran, Rosé

There's so much plot left to happen that I'm just going to focus on vibes/things I love in this series... take these and run with them in whatever direction feels right! I will probably update this letter with notes as the series continues.

For this show, I'm assuming Jack/Joke is canon endgame, and my DNW for breaking up of canon relationships applies to them. I'm a happy multishipper, so if you want to write either of them with someone else either in an open/poly way or before they get together, that is perfectly fine! And gen fic of course is also welcome... I just don't want the Jack/Joke ship broken up or somehow permanently closed off.

- The guilt and regret between Jack and Joke, the way they each call to the light of idealism in each others' hearts even though they can't fully live up to it. The weight of their history, how each of them thought of each other in those years they were apart.
- Danger, whump, hurt/comfort, wound tending - there's so much room for "seeing the person you love during/after danger and injury" and I want all of it! Feel free to come up with canon divergent scenarios, maybe even a whole different first meeting after the prison time, I'll always be happy for more of Jack and Joke getting hurt and worrying over/taking care of each other.
- Aran is fascinating to me and I'd love anything you want to write about him. He's scared of his father, he's rich and spoiled but also has an inferiority complex, and he doesn't seem to have any real friends. I'm hoping he'll get a canon ship (probably with Tattoo?), but I also like the idea that he might have had some casual hookups with people like Hope and Jack.
- I nominated Rosé on the strength of my love for Zorzo and that one hilarious scene in episode 1. Her going off about her princess/bodyguard fantasies oblivious to Jack and Joke making eyes at each other behind her back? Golden. Her and Aran as catty frenemies? Also golden. I'm very curious about her relationship to the temple leader woman and I can imagine some good fic potential there as well.
- The scene in episode 6 where Aran's father treats Hope as a whipping boy for Aran had me climbing the walls! I would love more of the twisted ways the boss keeps his people - including his son - in line. Does this proxy punishment thing happen a lot? Has it ever involved Jack? (either as the one being punished or the one watching a colleague be punished for him) How does that affect their relationship afterward? Or come up with something even worse the boss could do. This is prime territory for some really fucky dubcon or noncon and if you want to take it there, I'd be delighted to read it. The vibe between the boss and Jack definitely has some predatory undertones, feel free to play with those as well.

Because this show is ongoing and won't be done until well into the creation period, I'm especially open to canon divergence and missing scenes. I'm also very interested in Tattoo, Hoy, Hope, and Save, so feel free to add them in as much as you want. I have my guesses about what ships will end up being canon, but again, I love multishipping so feel free to mix and match however you want.


Peaceful Property: Peach, Pangpang, Kan, Home

I'd like a fic focusing on one of the following configurations:
all four together (Home, Peach, Pangpang, Kan)
Home and Peach
Pangpang and Kan


I believe that this is a found family story at its heart, and that these four will find a way past the different hurts and betrayals and end up working together, caring for each other, and having each other's backs. Whether that's where show canon ends up going or not, that's what I want to see: all four of them coming together as a team and a family.

I ship both Home/Peach and Kan/Pangpang, so if you want to write shippy fic for either of those pairs I'd be delighted! I'm also happy for a foursome poly situation, or any sub-combination of queerplatonic family feelings. Shipwise, the only thing I don't want is for them to pair off into two m/f couples. If you do go the OT4 route, you can handle Peach and Pangpang's relationship however you want... I don't particularly ship them, but I'm fine with incest in general and could be persuaded, so write whatever dynamic you like best.

Fandom-specific DNW: permanent death of any of the main four
Character bashing/villainy of any of the main four. It's fine (good, even!) to recognize things they did wrong in canon and the hurt they caused, but I'd like the ultimate focus to be on reconciliation and healing. If anyone ends up in a place you feel is irredeemable, please just leave them off to the side.

2022 was a great year to get into BL dramas. Early in the year, I started making a rating spreadsheet of kiss scenes, and by the end of the year I had to rework it entirely because the field of content had gotten so much bigger and broader and, well, hornier.

Wait, back up. A rating spreadsheet of kiss scenes?
Yes, this is a very chill and normal thing to do, I think, when you really like kissing scenes in media especially if they're queer, and you also really like spreadsheets and analysis and taking trivialities extremely seriously. I see nothing to question here. Let's move on.

I can't think of a better 2022 wrap-up than to run down my top 10 BL kissing scenes of 2022, or at least I can't think of one I more wish to do. If it requires me to go back into all these scenes and find the perfect screenshot, that's a burden I'm willing to bear for you all. (Sadly viki has outwitted me in the taking of screenshots, so there are none for those shows.)

A few notes on inclusion: there are a lot of scenes and kisses I loved that didn't make the list. The biggest change I had to make to my kissing spreadsheet was to separate out kissing scenes from sex scenes. At the beginning of the year I was giving big credit to scenes that gave any indication that the characters might want to actually bone down, and by the end of the year I had so many scenes where the characters just straight-up did bone down. So I love that for me, and for us, but it meant some recalibrating. A lot of great kisses happened in the middle of bigger sexier scenes, but I've left those out (maybe next year!) and focused on the ones that stood out and stuck with me as kissing scenes.

A great kissing scene, for me, is an emotional turning point. A kiss scene that hits big for me is one that changes things between the characters, or releases something that's been held back. It's one where you can feel the mutual connection and desire and also the weight of what it means for them that this is happening. The much-hyped Bad Buddy rooftop kiss is still the best kissing scene I've yet seen, by my standards -- but that happened in 2021, so it isn't on the list. Here are the ones that are, in roughly chronological order.

Cutie Pie, ep 2
Cutie Pie had its ups and downs, but this scene was an all-time great. Up to this point Lian has been almost as obscure to us as he is to Kuea, but as Kuea drunkenly cries and begs Lian to love him just a little, just to pretend to love him, we see him crack open. Nobody does wrecked desire like Zee, and he gives it all here.



Semantic Error, ep 7
"Warning: I'm going to kiss you in one minute" might be my favorite lead-up line ever. It takes the boundary established earlier and uses it to say: I see what's between us, I want to act on it, I know you need me to take initiative, but here's an out if you're not ready. And then Sangwoo takes the initiative after all. Gorgeous.

Secret Crush on You, ep 7
There are a lot of great kisses in SCOY but this one wins for me because Nuea's walk-away-then-spin-back move was one of the hottest things to happen this year. Nuea is playing a controlled teasing game that they're both enjoying, so he should walk away after one kiss, but he can't do it, and it's GOOD, it's very good for me.



Kinnporsche, ep 6
Kinnporsche is the show that wrecked my original kiss rankings sheet. It expresses character and relationship through sex scenes with a fluency and nuance I never expected to see anywhere, and certainly not in a gay mafia drama. I tried for a while to rank the sex scenes alongside the kissing scenes in a way that made sense and was fair to both, but that turned out to be a silly idea. BUT Kinnporsche does have some good kissing scenes that are just kissing, and this is the great one. It's a critical turning point in the relationship, and the fierce, desperate clinging to each other is so so good.



Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Soul, ep 10
This is one that makes the list largely for sheer sensuality. The romance is a very slow burn -- understandable since one of them is technically dead -- so I wasn't expecting this much intensity and passion when they do finally kiss. We've spent the whole series watching Tuaphee yearn, and the way his chest heaves, the way Prakan goes for him, is just beautifully satisfying.



Old Fashion Cupcake, ep 4
Thumb in mouth THUMB IN MOUTH okay I can be normal about this scene. It's so short, but so intense and so desperate and with so much wound-up tension behind it, tension that barely gets a few seconds of slack before being twisted up tighter than before. And the thumb thing is just. really. hot.

The Eclipse, ep 7
Speaking of short. This kiss barely lasts a second, but it's still one of my most-rewatched kissing scenes of the year. It's full of the hushed, pained tenderness that The Eclipse does so well. Kan and Thua both pretending to be asleep, both so scared for slightly different reasons, and then -- what really makes the scene for me -- Kan's face moving through distress and anxiety into a beautiful, breathless joy.



The Eclipse, ep 8
These are ordered chronologically because I can't possibly pick a favorite, but this might be my favorite. Ayan's relentless vulnerability and Akk's brittle, hopeless longing is just a lot it's a lot. The way they hold each other's faces. The way Akk's lips tremble. The, okay, yes, the tiny thread of spit as they separate. It's all very sexy and very intimate and, again, painfully tender, tenderly painful.



My Tooth Your Love, ep 9
Second to crying, the thing I love most in a kissing scene is when the characters keep breaking into smiles between kisses. They're so happy! They like each other so much! I love this show and these two characters for the honesty and openness and kindness between them, and it's all right there when they finally kiss.

Between Us, ep 2
I dislike the "tripped and accidentally kissed" trope, but I very much like this subversion, where they trip and hover in excruciating tension before kissing. It's hot, it's good.



BONUS GL SCENE - GAP, ep 5
I kind of expected that we'd have to work our way through some staid, basic GL content before getting to the really fun stuff, but nope -- GAP goes weird and horny right out of the gate. Sam inventing a whole game where she can bite Mon's lips and pretend it isn't kissing... I love her. Looking forward to more from these two as well as a few other GL shows next year.

Going to try to start updating here more regularly with the things I'm watching and reading and how I feel about them! There are a bunch of shows I've finished recently that I want to talk about more, but to minimize the risk of this falling into the "too long never done" well, I'll just mention them here and then hopefully write up more of a review later.

(Blanket note on content warnings and spoilers: I'm not trying to provide comprehensive content warnings here. I may flag something I found particularly upsetting or unexpected, but that shouldn't be taken to mean other content warnings might not apply. If there's something you're interested in checking out and want more thorough content notes, I'm happy to provide them! As for spoilers, I'll generally avoid spoiling anything you don't find out in the first couple of episodes, although I may indicate whether the ending is good, bad, or ambiguous.)

Dramas I've watched

Beyond Evil: Just finished this last night and it's all I'll be thinking about for a few days. Crime drama, technically not a romance, but it's hard to know what else to call it when the relationship between the two leads is so central and so bursting with sexual tension. Han Joowon, young and feverishly moralistic, wants to be the brilliant detective stalking a serial killer who's escaped justice for years, but that's not the story he's in. Lee Dongsik, wearing trauma like a second skin, is both kinder and crueler than anyone is prepared to deal with, especially Han Joowon and also me. When the two of them are onscreen, especially together, you can't take your eyes off them.

The show takes place in a small town that's staggering wearily along under the weight of twenty years of murders, disappearances, and unresolved suspicions. Everyone is extremely tired and extremely not okay, but they're also a family: fractured and exasperated, quietly empathetic and swiftly protective. Even as things start to unravel and secrets come to light, you can variously see relief and resignation along with the new griefs and fears that come up.

My one big beef with the show is the disability rep, which is... bad. But overall I loved it a lot, will probably rewatch, might write fic... probably a good bit fuckier and pornier than I normally write, because the vibe took my id Places.

What and where: Korean, 16 episodes, on viki and netflix.

Reset: Time loop thriller about two people working to stop the bus explosion that keeps killing them. Very exciting and well written, terrific leads, basically everything I want from an action suspense drama. I especially loved the way the other bus passengers are slowly fleshed out and humanized over the course of the drama. Features a lot of actors from Nirvana in Fire, which was fun for me.

What and where: Chinese, 15 episodes, on viki and I think youtube.

Bad Buddy: I feel like I've done nothing BUT talk about Bad Buddy since I finished it. College age BL rivals-to-lovers with a bit of a Romeo and Juliet story (happy ending tho), but that doesn't really convey what's so great about it. The writing and acting are just so good! Pat and Pran are just so good! It's funny and it's joyful and it occasionally slips a knife under your ribs but always kisses it better. It quite deliberately spurns a lot of common BL tropes, and it does what every BL drama should do with the "female romantic rival" character. It's just so good. I wanna go watch it again right now.

What and where: Thai, 12 episodes, on youtube.

3 Will Be Free: OT3! Canon OT3! I would forgive a lot of sins just for that, and this show didn't even have much for me to forgive. It's contemporary noir with the main three characters running from a mob boss. There's a lot of violence and a lot of excitement and a lot of frankly terrible decision-making; I love all the main characters so much even as I wanted to scream at them. Several characters are trans women or sex workers or both, and while the show itself is firmly on their side, there is some in-universe violence and hatred that was a little hard to watch for me. Still, I enjoyed it a lot and am looking forward to rewatching and seeing all the character details I missed the first time.

What and where: Thai, 10 episodes, on youtube.


Dramas I'm watching

City of Streamer: I'm about halfway through this one and loving it. Chinese Republic-era spy romance - governess secretly working against her employer to avenge a wrong done to her family. The main romance is with the young master of the house, who she's also tutoring, and I did not expect it to work for me as well as it does, but he's just the right amount of young/cocky/prickly and lonely/devoted/vulnerable. The female lead is perfect, no notes: I especially love watching her compartmentalize her sincere compassion toward members of this household from her unwavering determination to pull the whole thing down. There is a so much potential for good good emotional devastation that I'm almost afraid to keep watching in case it doesn't deliver. I'd paused it because I caught up to what was on youtube and I've been enjoying blasting through a few episodes a night, but I'll probably pick it up this weekend and, if it stays good, give in and jump to Tencent to watch the rest once I'm caught up again.

What and where: Chinese, 40 episodes I think, on youtube and tencent.

Cutie Pie: BL arranged marriage with identity porn that quickly takes an unexpected turn. I'm only two episodes in but I'm hooked on sheer chemistry. I keep thinking I know what road this story is going to go down, and then it jumps right to the end of that road, so I truly have no idea what to expect as it unfolds.

What and where: Thai, 2 episodes released (I assume there will be 12-ish total since that seems standard), on youtube.

I thought this was going to be quick to write. It was not quick. More later!

General likes
Polyamory/open relationships
Characters who care about each other navigating difficult conflicts where neither person is fully right or wrong
Hurt/comfort
Canon compliant, canon backstory, post-canon
Modern and scifi AUs
Love expressed through understanding/knowing each other really well
Porn as character study/relationship study


DNWs
pregnancy, fertility issues, trying to conceive, breeding kinks
sad/bad ending, except where noted in prompts
breaking up canonical relationships/killing off a character to make room for a different ship
gender swap or gender identity focus
A/B/O
soulmark/soulmate AUs
fantastic/nonhuman AUs such as vampire, werewolf, mermaid, etc
plots revolving around misunderstandings
extreme gore, body horror, mutilation
kinks involving body fluids (including menstruation and other bloodplay, watersports, scat, spitting/saliva play, cum inflation) - I'm fine with typical presence of sexual fluids, just not as the focus



Nirvana in Fire - Xia Dong, Mu Nihuang

Explore their relationship! Would love for this to be shippy but if your heart doesn't move in that direction, a close platonic bond would be fine. At the beginning of NiF there's an exchange where they acknowledge that as close as they are, there has always been a barrier because of their different views on the Chiyan case. I'm very interested in the tension of that dynamic, and also in the ways it changes as Mei Changsu's plan unfolds and the truth becomes clear. In general I love how deeply they understand each other even where they disagree, how clear it is that they will always be there for each other.




Prompts:

• A time before Mei Changsu returns when they are trying to be closer but can't get past the conflict over the Chiyan case. Some mutual pining and painful acknowledgement of the barrier they can't get past despite how much they care about each other. (This one could be a sad or bittersweet ending.)
• Xia Dong either in seclusion at Xuanjing Bureau or in prison, writing a letter to Nihuang and processing all the lies and betrayal and new information she has now.
• Their relationship post-canon, just getting to be happy together and secure in this relationship that's been steadfast through so many changes and difficulties.

Imperial Coroner - Chu Chu, Leng Yue

Pleeeease these two are so good! "Hello we just met, let me walk around you and tell you how beautiful you are." "Girls should rescue girls." I love them, I ship them, they're so fun. I just want more of them together, finding each other interesting and lovable, having each other's backs. Happy to have Jing Yi and Jinyu included (personally I like them as an OT4) as long as Chu Chu and Leng Yue are the focus.

Prompts:

• Leng Yue has found a mysterious corpse, needs Chu Chu's help (any kind of road trip/casefic starring the two of them would be awesome!)
• Explicit - Leng Yue assumes she will need to explain wlw sex to Chu Chu. Maybe she's right or maybe she's very wrong.
• Teaming up to prank Jing Yi.
• Leng Yue is injured or sick, is a terrible patient, Chu Chu is the only one who can manage her.

The Long Ballad - Hao Du

I love Hao Du so much and would love to see more of his character, especially his internal life since he's so stoic and controlled. I didn't specify any other characters but would be very happy with a Hao Du/Li Leyan story, maybe some of his POV as he's falling in love with her, maybe some post-canon scenes of their life together. Hao Du as a dad? Yes please! (Per my DNWs, please don't write anything centered on pregnancy, newborn babies, or trying to conceive, but I would enjoy seeing him/them as a parent once their child is a toddler or older.)

Early in the series I was also feeling some OT3 vibes with Hao Du/Li Leyan/Wei Shuyu. If you're moved to explore that, I'd love to see it!

Would also be interested in anything about Hao Du's backstory, his relationship with his adoptive father, his sense of identity and duty. I cried a lot in the scene where he's accepted fully into the family -- digging into some of the underpinnings and background of that would be awesome.


Sha Po Lang - Chang Geng, Gu Yun

I just always need more changgu in my life. Would be thrilled to get an explicit story -- filling in any of the fade-to-black or implied sex scenes in the book would make me really happy, or the post-canon dynamic as they're adjusting to a more peaceful life. I like them being very playful and tender with each other in bed, maybe some negotiation around their different needs and wants, all deeply loving and connected.

I also love any and all hurt/comfort - my favorite scene in the whole book is when Chang Geng is already badly injured and exhausted, but bracing himself for the next fight, and then when Gu Yun comes in he lets go with "Yifu, it hurts." The dynamic in either direction where one of them is toughing it out but can finally be weak and needy when the other one is there... love it. I like whump so the hurt part can get as rough as you want as long as it stops short of anything that would cause permanent physical damage (scars are ok)... I do want the comfort and caretaking afterward though.

So this weekend I finished 山河令/Word of Honor, and then immediately started both a) writing a fic and b) rewatching. For a show that didn't really grab me until around episode 10-11, I sure did fall hard and fast.

The fic is a postcanon wenzhou story, and after writing almost exclusively MDZS for a while, WOW was it a different feeling to write characters who are actually sort of good at expressing intimacy and vulnerability with each other. For months now I've been mostly writing LWJ, WWX, and JC, each of whom has his own special way of avoiding sincere and direct expressions of feeling at all cost. It's a fantastic writing exercise, and it's also kind of exhausting.

Writing Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing is so refreshing in contrast. I kept having moments of "ugh I probably need to camouflage this emotion more... oh wait, no, he really would just say that." I love how unreservedly they love each other, how neither of them feels like their love is a threat or a danger. They tease and deflect a little, but even when they're deflecting they usually do it in a way that tries to reveal something as well. They so badly want to know and be known. I just really love them a lot.

Sometime soon I want to muse on what makes me keen to write fic for a story, when there are others I love as much or more but don't particularly want to write for. Meantime, the wenzhou is almost done so I should be posting it this weekend and then getting back to my poor, sweet, emotionally-tongue-tied zhanchengxian.

Just bits here and there from the last few days.

I've watched up to episode 18 of Word of Honor and I'm much too invested in Wen Kexing's happiness. I am certain this is bad for my mental health and peace of mind. When he looks sad he looks SO SAD and when he looks happy he looks SO HAPPY and it's just a lot to take. From the first few episodes, I really didn't think I was gonna fall so hard for this show, but here we are.

The next chapter of the lantern by the door is coming along nicely! My process for drafting this fic has been atypical -- I've written way more material that's ultimately getting thrown out or completely rewritten than usual. I've drafted large chunks from later in the story but I expect by the time I get there they'll be different too. As always, locking in the right zhancheng vibe is a challenge for me (I also have a story in the tattered, tethered series that's zhancheng-focused that's taking me forever to write), but once I get it it's so satisfying.

My first drafts of everything, always, are too nice. I'm pretty conflict-averse in real life and my initial writing instincts are to smooth things over as quickly as possible. It's in the edits and rewrites that I dig down, let the characters' hurts and needs get louder and more insistent. Writing Jiang Cheng is very good practice for me.

I've been enjoying a lot of Outside for the last few days of nice weather. I've taken long walks! I've sat outdoors and had a drink! Last spring I discovered that it's actually quite nice to sit in my tiny backyard (shared with the three other units in my building) and have a drink and scribble in my notebook. I am the kind of sedentary introvert who actually can be pretty content to just sit in my house for days on end (a Blessing in these times) but every time I go outside in good weather I think "damn, I should do this more often."

 Okay! *rubs hands* OT3 thoughts!

I love writing/reading OT3s, I think mostly because in general I like thinking of love as a community experience rather than something isolated between two people. Also because it's that many more opportunities for juicy character interactions and problems that don't have a simple answer.

There are four relationships in an OT3: the three two-person combinations and the relationship of the triad as a whole. (Having a character insist that there aren't multiple relationships, it's just a single relationship that happens to feature three people, is a quick way to give me the heebie-jeebies, based on too much real-life experience.) I love the way each side of the triangle can bring out a different aspect of the characters: the Parker that shows up with Hardison is different from the one that shows up with Eliot, and it's just such a fun playground for a writer who's mainly character-focused (that would be me.)

The two OT3s I've written the most for are on kind of opposite ends of the scale in terms of "how much the triad stuff is an issue." In the Leverage OT3, while the story was technically a get-together, as far as I'm concerned the three of them were already in a functioning, committed relationship as a triad. The story wasn't about starting a new relationship so much as shifting the nature of one side of the triangle, and the issues were mostly internal to one character. It was about him getting to a place where he could accept the kind of love he didn't feel like he deserved, and the OT3 aspect mostly helped resolve conflict instead of creating it.

At the other end is the zhanchengxian OT3, which I'm now writing in two different iterations. If you'd asked me a year ago, I would have said I'd never want to write a trio so rife with jealousy and looming primary/secondary issues, let alone one where every member is canonically awful at communication. Turns out it's a bit cathartic, so, as always, sorry and thank you to Jiang Cheng for inflicting my own stuff on you.

In the Leverage OT3, they shore each other up, bridging each other's weak spots and making the unit stronger. In the zhanchengxian OT3, the triad dynamic hits like a hammer to a wedge right where each of them is weakest. Wei Ying, believing he can and must fix everything by piling more burdens on himself. Lan Zhan, for whom "causing Wei Ying pain" is an unforgivable offence (there could also be a thing about possessiveness, but I write him on the low end of his possessiveness sliding scale because to do otherwise would not be fun for me). Jiang Cheng, who has spent his whole life being second best and look, here it is again. It creates a kind of crucible relationship where they all have to grow real fast or just fracture completely.

I cannot overstress how much I do not recommend this approach to IRL relationships. Occasionally it works out well, usually it just piles on additional damage and trauma. But as a writer, it's so much fun to just push and push on those stress points.

I'm also working on an original OT3 romance that has a different dynamic yet. But more on that another time.

In retrospect it was a mistake to find a title for this fic before the first chapter is ready.

I have such itchy posting fingers when a fic chapter is close to done, and normally the "oh shit but I still have to think of a title" helps hold me back... but I found my title last night and I still have half the chapter to edit before yeeting it off to betas and I haven't posted anything in so loooooong...